The Small Screen:
Series: Criminal Minds
Role: Dr. Spencer Reid Network: CBS Status: Hiatus Time Slot: Wednesday, 9 PM PST Official Site
Series: Matthew Gray Gubler: The Unauthorized Documentary
Role: Matthew Gray Gubler Network: YouTube Status: Playing Time Slot: All the time Official Site
The Big Screen:
Title: Alvin and the Chipmunks Role: Simon (Voice) Status: Playing Time Slot: Moviefone Official Site
Upcoming: Title: How to Be A Serial Killer Role: Bart Status: Post-Production
I know what you're all thinking. "Oh, sweet Waldo, she didn't..."
Oh, yes, I did.
Please keep in mind that this is a JOKE.
With that said, please enjoy!
----
I've been getting e-mails concerning some sort of conspiracy that
involved none other than Mr. Gubler's head. What is this conspiracy, you
ask?
The idea that a man -- such as Mr. Gubler himself, who has such a huge
skull -- actually exists!
I hired some private investigators, mathematicians, and some scientists
to see if this conspiracy had any substance. I was simply
SHOCKED.
Now, in this shot, his
head looks perfectly proportionate.
It's been stated that
his head is roughly a size eight, which would be somewhere around twenty
five inches. My investigators, of course, don't believe it. (I'm
thinking they forgot to add a 0 when they were measuring.) Proof that
his head cannot in fact be twenty five, but two hundred fifty?
Do you see Mandy right next to him? Since there is a distance in between
them, it obviously looks as if Mandy's head is bigger. "But what does
this mean?!" you ask. Draw your own conclusions from here.
His head fits on
Mandy's body naturally! That's right, ladies and gents, this head (which
was obviously not enlarged and/or
manipulated in any which way) fits perfectly on Mandy, who, mind you, is
standing quite away from Mr. Gubler!!! But that's not all!
Yes, Albert Einstein,
a man best known for his theory of relativity (specifically e = mc^2)
has a rather large cranium himself. My scientists, however, have proved
that Mr. Einstein pales in comparison to Mr. Gubler!! But Mr. Einstein
is not the only one who can rival (and fail) Mr. Gubler.
Another is Mr. Peter Boyle.
Once again, Mr. Gubler
proves that his head is gigantic!! Not only has he beat Einstein, he
also beat Mr. Boyle, bringing his marks up to
TWO!
You must be thinking, "You're kidding
me."
I kid you not!
But if that's not
enough, Mr. Gubler even beats Pope Benedict XVI himself!
But that's not all, ladies and gentlemen. In fact, we have:
THE SMOKING
GUN!!!!!
Based on a survey taken (read as: three
people), E.T. was voted as the character with the largest head!
Will Mr. Gubler beat
E.T.?!
Will Mr. Gubler, a man that actually exists,
have a cranium that is larger than that of an extra terrestrial?!
...
...
...
Mr. Gubler wins once
again! His head is, in fact, larger than that of a fictional character.
What are the odds of that?
So yes, in conclusion, Mr.
Gubler's head is gigantic! What do you want to do with this piece of
information? Well, we report, you
decide!
